Adversities can present themselves in a variety of ways. Losing your job, problems in your business, losing a loved one or limitation of movement are just a few examples.
Depending on the part of the world in which we live, we can also add natural disasters, lack of opportunities to get out of poverty or even conflicts and wars.
Whatever the adverse situation, we have a choice: how we deal with it. So let us see how to overcome adversity.
Comprehension in order to overcome adversity
To overcome an adversity, first it is advisable to understand it completely.
The psychology behind adversity
Going through an adversity is suffering a loss of some kind. So we need to go through a grieving process to a greater or lesser extent. The commonly known model comprises five phases; though not all people or in every situation go through all the stages or in this order.
1. Denial
We resist accepting what has happened. We wish that everything was as before; that it had not happened.
2. Anger
We feel anger or resentment about the situation or towards other people. The powerlessness of not having been able to avoid it makes us angry. Maybe we look for someone to blame.
3. Bargaining
We try to get used to the idea but we brood over “what ifs”. What would have happened if we had done this or that? We fantasise about reversing the adversity or how we could have avoided it.
4. Depression
We are filled with a feeling of emptiness and deep sadness. Perhaps we think that it is not worth continuing to live. We may isolate ourselves from the world.
5. Acceptance
We finally accept the loss. We recover the desire to continue living, to feel joy and experience pleasure.
When we suffer a loss of some kind, we need to go through a #grievingprocess. Get to know the phases. Overcoming #adversity Share on X
Reflect on adversity
To overcome your adversity, I invite you to reflect on your situation. What has happened to you and why does it affect you so much? What are the negative points that worry you? Why? What phase of the grieving process do you think you are in? I suggest that you put your thoughts on paper. The act of writing helps us sort out our ideas.
Check your perspective
Then reflect on your perception of the gravity of the situation. Is what has happened to you the worst thing that could have occured? Since you cannot change what has happened, what can you do about it?
Is the situation temporary? So then, how can you make the most out of it? Most of us have gone through adverse situations that afterwards we would have liked to make more out of.
Again write down your ideas to become more aware of what is on your mind.
Look for the opportunity
Adversities can be opportunities to grow, learn and innovate. So reflect on what can be the positive side or at least learning that you can extract from that adversity. What have others done to overcome it? Which tangible and intangible resources do you need to overcome the adversity? By intangible resources I mean knowledge, experience, and skills. Be creative and use your imagination. Research and document yourself.
When we go through an #adversity, we should reflect on how it affects us and why. Skills and techniques to #overcomeadversity Share on X
Skills to overcome adversity
Once we have better understood our situation and the lessons we can extract, let us see the soft skills that help you overcome adversities. The good thing is that they are not innate characteristics but can be acquired and trained.
Leadership
Self-management and self-leadership means taking charge of our lives. On the one hand, this means acquiring knowledge and skills to overcome the challenges we encounter.
On the other hand, managing our life also means acquiring healthy and productive habits and being clear about our priorities. From there we can set goals, organise ourselves and plan our day to day.
Resilience
Resilience is actually a set of skills and behaviors. Life is a journey in which we have to overcome obstacles. In this sense, resilience means facing adversity with acceptance, confidence and perseverance using our knowledge and experience.
Acceptance
Acceptance is part of resilience. But it deserves a special mention; because it is a skill that can avoid many headaches and stress.
We cannot completely control our life, everything that happens to us or how other people behave. Life is a journey and change is inherent. When we learn to accept that, we learn to take things as they are. This does not mean resigning yourself to it. It means making the most out of situations from a more positive attitude such as acceptance.
Patience
Another important skill in our life is patience. Sometimes it takes time to overcome adversity and improve our situation. It may take us a long time to pass the phases of the grieving process. Also, it can take time to see positive results for our efforts. So patience and perseverance are important in order not to falter and not give up.
Confidence
Another skill that is part of resilience but deserves a special mention is confidence. A good self-confidence allows you to believe in your ability to face adversities and challenges. Whatever the result, you will have the confidence to be able to cope.
Confidence is also having faith and believing in others. Having trusted people gives you a support network not only in good but also in bad times. Moreover, confidence means trusting that life goes on and the world will continue to function.
Emotion management
Last but not least, emotional intelligence and in particular the management of our emotions are key to overcoming adversity. It means knowing how to express your emotions in a healthy way.
It also means being aware when you are in a loop, you feed back or you block negative emotions. Expressing our emotions is good for our health and well-being. But it is possible that we have acquired harmful patterns.
So, find a way to express your emotions. Talking to a trustworthy person, journalling or practicing an artistic activity are ways to give your emotional world an outlet and expression.
Find out which are the #softskills that help you overcome #adversity and challenges Share on X
Techniques to overcome adversity
After reviewing the skills that help you overcome adversity, let us look at some additional techniques.
Create good habits
Our motivation, willpower and decision-making capacity are limited. But the human is a creature of habits. That is why it is much more effective to create good habits.
Precisely when you feel unmotivated and sad, sticking with your routine will help you realise that life is going on and even improve your state of mind. Therefore, I encourage you to review your habits. Which negative habits or habits that do not contribute anything would you like to abandon? How can you avoid the moment of temptation? What better habit can you replace it with?
Which positive and healthy habits would you like to reinforce or add to your routine? So then, choose an hour of the day to introduce this new habit into your routine. Or connect it with another habit you already have. Being specific about when you are going to take a certain action will make it easier for you to implement that new habit.
Structure your day
In connection with habits, giving structure to our day helps us not to feel lost. If we feel that we have a purpose and know what to do at each moment, it will be more difficult to succumb to depression or procrastination.
A regular routine of night rest, fixed times for different meals, for physical activity, work and our hobbies give us a structure on which to lean and to take care of our well-being.
When we suffer an #adversity, we might abandon our routine. Why structure and #goodhabits are important. Share on X
Clarify your priorities
The fast pace of life that most of us carry can make us lose sight of what matters most to us. When we go through an adversity, it can be an opportunity to put things in perspective.
So I invite you to reflect on which are the priorities in your life. What matters most to you? Have you dedicated attention and time to your priorities? Which ones have you neglected?
Suffering an #adversity can be an opportunity to review our #priorities Share on X
Make a plan
Which are your priorities as well as tangible and intangible resources? Taking them into account, make a plan to overcome your adversity. What can you do? What do you want to achieve? Set realistic goals and define them well. Which steps should you take and which one can you take right now? Remember that habits are more powerful than self-motivation. Therefore, schedule time slots in your agenda to take the necessary steps to achieve your plan.
Set aside time for contemplation and reflection
Furthermore, I suggest that you take time for contemplation and reflection. This is something that most of us usually do not make time for. But on the one hand it allows you to take a conscious halt in your chores. On the other hand, it helps you keep perspective on things and clarity about your priorities and goals.
Practice gratitude
We can easily fall into the dynamic of taking for granted the good things in our lives. That is where gratitude comes in. This powerful tool makes you more aware of all the good and positive things in your life, that happen to you and that you achieve. So think about those pretty details that have happened. Remember and congratulate yourself on your achievements, however small they may be. Appreciate the gestures of affection received from others.
It is not about putting on pink glasses but balancing the scales towards greater awareness of the positive. Our brain is made to recognise and remember dangers, threats, and the negative. Through gratitude we learn to pay more attention to the good things.
Keep a diary
Finally, journalling is a way of expressing yourself and unloading your mind of everything you brood over and that worries you. You can write down what you feel, what you think, what you dream about, what you aspire to, what you are grateful for in your life, etc. Express yourself as you like and without prejudice. Think that it is only for you and nobody will read it (unless you want to). So, fearlessly pour everything you want onto the pages of your diary. This has a therapeutic effect.
In order to overcome #adversity, take care of yourself, reflect and make a #plan. Skills & techniques to #overcomeadversity #selfcare Share on X
How do you manage to overcome adversity?
Are you good at dealing with adversity? Does it depend on the type of adversity? Do you think you have the skills to overcome adversities successfully? Do you employ the skills and techniques mentioned?
2 responses
Very well written!
Adversities are normal. Everyone goes through some challenges and difficulties in life. Sometimes, life can really get you down. However, you always have the choice to whether let yourself down or pick yourself up.
Please read my blog on 5 Tips on Conquering Adversities
Hope this will also help.
These are such important life skills for adults- and also to instill in our children!