[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]A good self-confidence helps us face the challenges that life puts in our way. Do you usually believe in yourself or do you tend to doubt yourself? Does your level of self-confidence vary depending on the situation?
We will see that there are two approaches on which to base our self-confidence. The common one usually leads to fluctuations in the levels of confidence in ourselves. However, the second approach allows us to believe in ourselves always, whatever the circumstances.
Basing self-confidence on your abilities
This is the most common approach. Most of us have built our self-confidence on our ability to overcome challenges. When we overcome difficulties our self-confidence grows. But when we fail, it diminishes.
In other words, the more I trust my ability to do something, the more self-confidence I will have. When I face a challenge I will wonder what I want or should do and how I will achieve it. Do I have the resources and abilities to overcome the challenge?
The problem is that, depending on the day or the situation, I will have more or less confidence. By basing self-confidence on the ability to do or achieve something, my confidence will also be affected by the result and the consequences. If I achieve it, I confirm and strengthen my self-confidence. But if I do not achieve it or I do not do it as well as I would have liked, it makes a dent in my confidence.
Do you base your #selfconfidence on your #ability to do things or overcome #challenges? What the problem is with this approach Share on X
Perfectionism and self-confidence
Do you think you should always be perfect? Whether facing studies or work, you may always aspire to a perfect result. Maybe you think you should always behave impeccably, without any inappropriate comment or putting your foot in.
If so, you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. If, in addition, your self-confidence is based on your abilities, when something goes wrong you will feel low. But nobody is perfect. We all have our failures and are not worse people because of that.
That is why I suggest that you review what this self-image of needing to be perfect is due to. Behind that guise are often hidden insecurities acquired as children. Rather learn to accept that we cannot be perfect or do everything perfectly.
Do you believe you always need to be perfect & do everything perfectly? Why putting this pressure on yourself is not good for your #selfconfidence Share on X
The base for indestructible self-confidence
However there is another alternative to have a virtually bulletproof self-confidence. It is about building your confidence on giving your best. That means trusting that you will do the best you can. You will do things the best way you know at that time. Whatever the result, you will have the confidence of having given your best; and you will deal with the consequences in due course.
You can consider if you have the ability to face the challenge and base your confidence on the result. You can also worry about a conversation thinking that you will not know what to say or maybe screw up with a comment. However, you can also trust that you will do the best you know. Whatever the result, you will handle the consequences.
After all, the world will not end if the result is not the desired one. There are almost always opportunities to do better next time. Maybe it was not your moment.
We tend to base our #selfconfidence on our #abilities. However, there is another approach which is better for your #confidence Share on X
What if I do not give my best?
Normally, we try to do things the best we know. Not doing your best would be to not even try or be deliberately lazy, dishonest or ruthless. Have you prepared for the challenge and tried to overcome it? Then you have given your best. Have you had a conversation with good intentions? Then you have given your best.
Doing your best is not always achieving the best
You need to accept that you will not always get the best result. Let us say, for example, that you are facing an exam. You have studied and prepared your best. At the time of the exam you put all your effort into doing your best. The result may not be perfect. Could you have done better? Repeating the exam, probably. But at the moment in time you gave the best you knew.
Another example may be a work event. You are nervous because it is an important situation. You have the best intentions but, as you are nervous, you make a ridiculous or inappropriate comment. Now, you can feel ashamed and torture yourself. Or you can apologise and remember that we are all imperfect human beings.
Part of being an adult is learning to deal with disappointments and failures. The question is how we deal with them. If we consider them a lesson learned, it allows us to grow as a person.
Giving your best does not always mean achieving the best result. You'd rather accept it. #Selfconfidence Share on X
Decide how you want your self-confidence to be
The next time you doubt yourself, take a moment to consider why. What are you basing your confidence on? What are you worried about or scared of?
If you base your self-confidence on giving your best, the situation will make you less nervous. You will not feel insecure. And this will result in you being better able to overcome the challenge.
Relying on doing your best strengthens your self-confidence and self-esteem. It reduces your insecurities and fears. This way you will feel more able to face challenges and get out of your comfort zone.
What if you could face #challenges with less #fear and #insecurities? It depends what your #selfconfidence is based on Share on X
Do you have a bulletproof self-confidence?
What is your level of self-confidence? Does it vary according to the situations you face?
Do you think that focusing your self-confidence on giving your best, instead of your abilities and the results, can help you?
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