Supposedly we do not want to suffer stress, we want to avoid negative stress. But you may be stuck in a spiral in which you no longer realise that you are stressed. You have been stressed for so long that you have got used to it, that you think things are like this. Let us see the signs that you may have become addicted to stress and how to get out of the vicious circle.
Why you can become addicted to stress
Stress is a physiological response that prepares us for efforts and warns us of threats. Our body secretes adrenaline and cortisol in situations of danger or threat to prepare us for fight or flight.
The problem with this evolutionary aid is that today we face fewer dangers to our physical integrity. We usually face situations of mental stress. In addition, our body is not prepared to withstand high levels of adrenaline and cortisol for a long time.
But chronic stress leads to a constant production of these substances. In addition to the effects on our health we get used to the effects of adrenaline and cortisol and we need more and more as if it were a drug.
What are the signs that you might be addicted to stress
There are a number of behaviors and attitudes that can give you clues as to whether you are perhaps hooked on stress and the adrenaline that accompanies it.
1. You feel guilty when you try to relax
When you try to relax you feel guilty thinking that you should be doing something productive. You have a hard time not doing anything and just enjoying your free time.
2. You have a hard time getting into holiday mode
When you take days off it takes you a few days to feel that you are on holidays, to disconnect and relax.
3. You spend your days off thinking about work
Even when you are on holidays, you still think, at least part of them, about work. You think about what is pending and what awaits you upon your return. You feel worried if everything is running well in your absence.
4. You chase the rush
Even if this might be hard for you to admit, you love the stressful moments of the day. That is why you look for that high of stress at work or in thrilling activities.
5. You set arbitrary deadlines
When it comes to putting deadlines to projects you set tight target dates even when not necessary. You put yourself under pressure by setting difficult or impossible deadlines.
6. Last-minute pressure turns you on
You tend to leave things for the last minute. You feel you work at your best with tight deadlines.
7. You overload your agenda
You cannot keep up with so many responsibilities and tasks. But if you do not do it, who will? That is why your agenda is full of meetings and commitments. You tend to take on too much burden and fill your list with more tasks that you can handle.
8. There never seems to be enough time to do everything
You are constantly running from one thing to another. You hurry everywhere because you have so much to do. You might even feel you do not have time to stop for lunch.
9. You do not have free time
As you overload yourself with work, commitments and tasks, it seems that you do not have free time. That is why you lack time to meet your friends or dedicate yourself to hobbies that you enjoy.
10. You do not know how to do nothing
You get bored easily when it seems you have nothing to do. You do not know how to simply be and do nothing. You also find it uncomfortable to have to wait for someone. Having to queue for some errand seems like a waste of time and irritates you.
11. You often feel irritated
You easily get upset by certain situations or behaviours of other people. It riles you up when things are not as you would like. You think being busy and under pressure is part of your way of being. That is why you put stress as an excuse when you get angry or frustrated.
12. You tend to attract drama
When you want to disconnect or take time off something comes up. You feel a victim of the circumstances and those around you. You feel that you must take care of everything if you want things to get done. Or else you think that others do not know how to do things right.
It seems that you always have a problem. But maybe you are not the victim but the cause. As you go so fast through life, you create tense situations with other people; discussions with your partner, family or co-workers, gossip with colleagues or friends.
13. You complain a lot
You love telling others how busy you are, how hard your life is. So, you complain about your job, your family or life in general. You have a hard time seeing the positive aspects; because you believe that your life is harder than that of others.
14. You think the reward will be greater if you suffer now
You live for the future when everything will be better. You think that working hard now, even at the expense of your happiness, will bring greater rewards later on. Actually, you do not know how to enjoy the present and what you have already achieved. You think it is worth battering yourself and suffering now in order to be happy later on.
15. Your relationships suffer
You lack time to take care of your personal relationships, to spend time with your loved ones. And when you have the time you are irritated. Instead of enjoying time with your friends or family you are complaining about your situation, your problems, why things are not as you want.
16. You do not remember what makes you happy
You have been on the hamster wheel so long that you have forgot what you are passionate about, what you like and what makes you happy. Remembering point 10, that is why you feel bored when you have free time because you do not know what to do with yourself. Even when you are in a leisure activity, mentally you are not present but already thinking about what is going to happen or what you are going to do next.
17. You worry that you might be missing something
You suffer from the FOMO syndrome, the fear of missing out on something. That is why you are hooked on smartphone and social media or overload your agenda with events to attend. It stresses you to disconnect your mobile phone, computer or email. With the excuse that too many emails will accumulate, you even check them on your days off.
18. You have a hard time disconnecting at night
It is difficult for you to fall asleep because of all the things you have on your mind. You brood over everything you have to do, what has gone wrong at work, your worries.
19. You finish the sentences of others
Since you are so busy, you are impatient in conversations with others. Therefore you tend to finish other people’s sentences or at least feel like doing so. As you are worried about finishing the phrase of the other or about what you want to reply, you may cause misunderstandings.
20. You boast about how busy you are
Lastly and possibly the worst signe: You define and pride yourself on how busy you are. You boast about the stress you have as if it were a competition. Depending on your social circle, maybe your conversations revolve around who is the busiest and most stressed as if it were a game show of who gives more.
How to get out of stress addiction
Have you recognised any of the symptoms? Good, because the first step to improve is always to become aware.
That is why I suggest that from now on you pay more attention to how you behave throughout the day. When you get caught in that state of “I am so busy”, halt for a moment. Breathe calmly. Look around and absorb what surrounds you. Then evaluate what you are doing and why you are doing it.
Are you clear about your priorities?
Consider what your priorities are. What place does your well-being occupy? What position do your happiness and fun have? Where do your loved ones fit in?
Prioritise and plan your work
Do you think you are too busy to plan your work? Well, you are actually so busy because you do not take the time to assess which are the most important issues and plan the corresponding tasks. Remember that busy is not the same as productive.
Check your agenda
Take a look at your schedule with a critical eye. How much time do you reserve for the important things in your life? What do the different commitments really contribute? Are there commitments you have made out of fear of missing out on something? Ask yourself if they really interest you and provide you something or whether you could use that time better.
If you tend to overload your agenda with obligations, block time to take care of yourself. Book time slots for breaks, to take care of yourself, to meet with friends, for leisure activities or to do nothing.
Check your obligations
Check if you have too many obligations and commitments. What does each of them do for you? Are they really important or necessary? Are there things you can stop doing or do less often?
Do you have trouble saying “no”?
Consider if part of your overload is because you have a hard time saying no to requests. Think about yourself, your well-being and your priorities before making a promise or a commitment. Learn to be assertive and recline requests or invitations. Do not feel guilty for putting yourself in the first place. Remember that you are the most important person in your life.
Turn off the self-critical voice
Do you feel guilty when you fail to do everything you had planned? Do you have a bad conscience if you do not do anything? Think that this little voice may be due to being too demanding with yourself. If you define yourself by how busy you are, it is logical that you feel guilty when you do not do anything or do things that seem not to be productive. But consider that leisure and fun are also productive: they help improve your well-being, your happiness and your relationships.
Are you avoiding something?
As Jordi Nadal and Ventura Ruperti say in their book Meditando el management… y la vida (Meditating on Management … and Life): “When one has the feeling of going at full speed to nowhere, it may be time to consider many issues, some of which are likely to result painful. “
So ask yourself if you keep busy so you do not have to face fears and worries. While you are occupied you will not be alone with yourself and your mind. You do not have to think about and face your problems and concerns. However, as long as we do not face our problems, these will continue to grow and cause us stress. That is why I encourage you to be honest with yourself. Is there something you are avoiding to solve? What is needed to resolve that concern or problem?
Learn to enjoy the present and the journey
When we go hyper and stressed through life, we can miss many things. We will pay more attention to problems and negative things. So try every day to take several moments to really absorb your surroundings.
Take a moment to enjoy the greenery of the trees, the sunbeams, the birds singing. Pay attention to the people around you. Give a smile to someone, give a hug to a loved one. There are many small things we can do to get off the hamster wheel or become aware of the present.
As for your projects and aspirations, it is very good to have goals. But as John Lennon said, life is what happens while you are busy making plans. That is why I invite you to enjoy the journey. Celebrate the small milestones and above all do not miss the present for having your sights set on the future.
Disconnect
Learn to disconnect from work, the computer, the smartphone. If necessary, establish times for disconnection in which you will not look at your phone. The less you check social media, the less you will feel the need to look at them. Try and you will see.
Take care of yourself
It is proven that physical exercise helps reduce the level of stress. That is why I recommend that you choose activities that you enjoy to move your body. There are endless physical activities for all tastes, needs and physical conditions. From a simple walk to a spinning class, from yoga to Crossfit, from Pilates to Zumba, from a mountain excursion to rock climbing. If you do not know what you like, try out until you find something that you enjoy and relaxes you.
The more stressed and hyper you are, the more difficult you can find calm activities but the more beneficial they will be. Meditation, yoga, a calm walk, reading a book, drawing, making crafts, giving yourself a massage are just some examples of calm and soothing activities.
Are you addicted to stress?
Have you recognised yourself in some of the symptoms? Have you noticed that maybe you are caught in a vicious circle? What will you do to get out of it and reduce the stress in your life?
Learn more about the types of work-related stress and how to relieve and prevent them.
