When I got into the world of personal development, I came across the subject of personal core values. At the time, I used the typical list of values to identify mine. However, this is not the best way.
You will see below that it is not about simply selecting a few words. The important thing is, on the one hand, your definition of your personal values. On the other hand, living according to your personal core values is necessary to avoid chronic stress and to take care of your well-being.
So, let’s see what personal core values are.
Your personal core values guide you
We could say that values, like beliefs, are principles or standards that guide the way people and societies act, are and think. While our beliefs define why we do what we do, values direct with what purpose we do it.
Values are what matters most to us, what moves us and makes us dedicate our time, energy and resources. That is why they are established in abstract terms such as integrity, honesty, health, fun, etc.
Values generate emotions and help us commit.
On the Internet you can find many lists of values. However, the important thing is not so much choosing the words with which you identify yourself but what they mean exactly to you.
Your personal value folder
Imagine a value as a computer folder. Inside a computer folder you keep images and documents. Well, inside the folder of a value you put everything that it means to you and your related beliefs. Therefore, you can share values with other people, but interpret them differently. And that may even provoke conflicts or misunderstandings. Because each one fills their folder with their things. Let’s see it with two examples.
Example value ‘Respect’
Inside this folder would be your definition of respect. For example:
- “To be valued and treated well.”
- “Treat others politely.”
- “Being punctual and others being punctual.”
The first two beliefs would probably fall within anyone’s definition of respect. So, we need to take it a little further. What does it mean to you to feel valued? What does it mean to you to be treated well? And what does good manners and treating others politely mean to you?
The third example shows how our definition of a value may differ from another person’s. For me, punctuality falls within respect. But there will be other people who give it less importance or who do not include it in their ‘Respect’ folder.
Example of the value ‘Family’
In this folder we find everything that means family to us, including people. In this sense, there may be people who only include the family they have formed with their partner and children in their family folder. Others will also add their parents and siblings. And others include anyone with whom they have a blood relationship, including their respective partners. For others, it may include adopted children.
In this folder you will put everything that means family to you. As you can see, each person is a world and so are their circumstances.
Then we can find our beliefs in the ‘Family’ folder. For example:
- “Family is the most important thing.”
- “Mother there is only one.”
- “Family supports each other no matter what.”
- “You don’t pick your family.”
Depending on our education and experiences, we fill our value folders.
Differences between beliefs and values
A belief is how you see the world. The environment in which you have grown up and in which you move now, your reference people and your experiences. All of this shapes what you think and how you interpret the events or behaviour of others. Basically it has to do with what you think is right or wrong. Your beliefs define your behavior and why you think what you think and do what you do.
Your personal values have to do with how you would like the world to be, what you aspire to and what is really important to you. They are the positive intention and expectations behind your behaviour. That ‘why’ you think what you think and do what you do.
Therefore, beliefs are the link between your values and your behaviours (and thoughts).
When we want to make some improvement in our life, it is much more effective to review our beliefs and even our values, since it will affect our behaviour.
Our beliefs can change throughout our life. That is why some of our personal values or the definition of some of our values can change, too.
Types of values
We can classify values into two types:
- Terminal or final values: These are the desirable states of our existence such as happiness or wisdom.
- Instrumental values: These are desirable modes of behaviour. Examples are acting with respect, being authentic, acting honestly, organisation.
When we integrate instrumental values into our lives and behave according to them, they contribute to our terminal values.
In turn, we can classify instrumental values into three types:
- Economic-pragmatic values: They help us do what is necessary to get the resources we need.
- Emotional and developmental values: They have to do with our emotional state and ‘looking inward’. They help us connect and be at peace with ourselves.
- Ethical-social values: These are the rules of the game in our relationships. They connect us with other people through ethical behaviour.
This classification was developed by the work psychologist Dr. Simon L. Dolan in the context of his study of values since 1976. He started from a list of 260 values. Through international research he reduced the list to 51 universal values: 17 values of each type. With these values he created the coaching tool The Value of Values.
The Triaxial Model of Values
Through his research, Simon Dolan was able to confirm that values can be detected in any universe: personal, family, community and organisational. Once identified, they can be classified into the three dimensions or types mentioned.
But what is this classification for? It allows you to see which of the axes or types your personal values are distributed on. For your model of fundamental values to be sustainable, there must be at least one value on each axis. Otherwise, it will cause imbalance and chronic stress.
If you feel burned out or dissatisfied, it is interesting to review which values are most present in your life currently and which are neglected.
Consequences of imbalances in your personal values model
Let’s say, for example, that all your personal values are currently on the ethical-social axis. Then you most likely live to help others, forgetting about your own development and well-being. At work, you may find it difficult to move forward with important tasks and meet deadlines because you are more concerned with creating a good atmosphere and helping your colleagues.
If all your core values are centered on the economic-pragmatic axis, you will probably focus so much on work that you neglect your personal relationships and self-care.
And if your personal values all belong to the emotional and development axis, you may be so focused on your own well-being and happiness that you forget about your environment. Others may perceive you as someone with their head in the clouds who does not fulfill their commitments.
Here, it is worth noting that traumatic experiences on a personal or professional level can lead you to temporarily focus on only one axis of values. People who have suffered burnout syndrome from working in an environment that is highly focused on economic-pragmatic values often tend to focus for a while on taking care of themselves and recovering (emotional and developmental axis).
But keep in mind that this is a temporary solution. To lead a satisfying life you need a balance between the three axes. We will go into more depth in another article on how an imbalance sustained over time or living in incongruence with your personal core values can harm your well-being and health.
What are your personal core values?
Now that you know more about core values, what are your personal values? What do your folders contain?
In other articles we will explore the relationship between core values and chronic stress and how to identify and align your personal values to improve your well-being, satisfaction and success.
Do you want to identify your personal core values or align your life with them? Don’t hesitate to check out my services and get in touch.
