Perfectionism causes avoidable stress. Be it due to fear of failure, setting too high standards, being excessively critical or procrastinating, for example. All of this can stress and frustrate you, but you can avoid it. Let us see how to overcome perfectionism.
Why overcome perfectionism
As I mentioned, perfectionism is stressful. It causes you dissatisfaction, frustration, and even anxiety. It also harms your self-esteem and self-confidence. Furthermore, it wastes your time when you take longer to complete tasks which you could finish earlier. That is assuming you even tackle them and do not freeze directly. Therefore, perfectionism also hurts your productivity.
12 keys to overcome perfectionism
There are a number of signs that you are a perfectionist. These signs give us clues about what to work on to overcome perfectionism. While you are at it, you will rid yourself of a burden in the form of stress, frustration and insecurity.
1. Become aware
Once you have recognised that you are a perfectionist, check your attitude, behaviours and mindset. In which situations do you put the pressure on yourself to be perfect or to do things perfectly? It can help if you write down every time you think you should do something perfectly or be perfect. You can either do this whenever you notice. Or you can take a few minutes at the end of the day to review what has happened and when you have imposed perfectionism on yourself.
In addition, it is convenient that you reflect on the possible reasons. Admitting this can be difficult. However, it is key to changing your perfectionistic behaviours. It will help you realise which of the following points you should work on more.
2. Change your mindset
Trying to be perfect, instead of helping you improve, stagnates your personal and professional growth. The fear of being wrong, of doing something less than perfect, holds you in a comfort zone. It also makes you less productive because you spend more time than necessary on everything you do.
On the one hand, learn to accept mistakes. They are part of life and do not make you a worse person. Neither you nor anyone else is perfect. Therefore, accept that both you and others can make mistakes. The important thing is not to commit them with bad intentions. Trying to do your best is highly commendable. But seeking perfection is unrealistic.
On the other hand, value learning and the journey. Do not focus only on the objectives to be achieved. Enjoy the stages that take you there and everything you are going to learn and achieve.
3. Pay attention to the positive
As you will be very trained in detecting any error no matter how small, learn to counteract it. Instead of focussing only on what you or someone else has done wrong, think about all that you have done right. If there is something you do not like about yourself or your work, think about the qualities that you do like. At first this will be difficult for you. But little by little you will train yourself to value the positive more and be less critical of the negative.
4. Seek excellence instead of perfectionism
In relation to the two previous points, it is more beneficial for your psychological well-being to seek excellence instead of perfection. Perfection is unattainable. However, seeking excellence means committing to continuous learning, and development. It means giving your best but without aspiring to unattainable standards.
5. Practice doing little things imperfectly
When we learn something new, it is impossible to do it perfectly. Making mistakes is part of the learning process. The question is if you know how to learn from them to do better the next time.
Therefore, if you do not want to stall your personal and professional development, it may help you to practice making mistakes. Choose unimportant things and launch yourself into trying them at the risk of going wrong. For example, dare to cook a complicated dish. Or try knitting a scarf. Find a multicultural gathering and try to speak in a language you do not master. Instead of buying the perfect gift, try handicrafting something. This is not an unimportant thing but the important thing about gifts is to give them from the heart.
6. Get out of your comfort zone
Practicing to do things imperfectly will take you out of your comfort zone. And beyond the comfort zone is precisely where the growth zone lies. To get used to moving in that growth zone, also try doing new things that you have never tried. Think of things that you have always wanted to try and have never dared.
That way you can show yourself how fun it is to discover new things. You will also realise that, for them to be fun, they do not have to be perfect nor do you need to do them perfectly.
7. Strive for productivity
When you try to do each task perfectly, you spend more time than necessary. But time is limited. Therefore, it is better to spend just enough time depending on the result that you need to achieve.
Using productivity methods will be of great help to achieve results as well as advance in your projects and objectives. According to the Pareto principle, 20% of our tasks achieve 80% of the results and vice versa. Consider which are the few important tasks that bring you the most benefit. Here, the Eisenhower matrix can help you, with which you assess projects and tasks according to their importance and urgency.
Once you have decided on the really important tasks, consider how you can accomplish them profitably. Do a cost-benefit analysis to see if the effort and time spent make sense considering the outcome.
Finally, planning your time is also key. According to Parkinson’s Law, work expands to fill the time available. In other words, if you do not plan your time, it is easier to waste it on unimportant tasks, spend too much time on tasks, or procrastinate.
8. Check your behaviour and progress
In addition to prioritising your tasks and planning your time, reviewing your progress will help you keep perfectionism at bay. Not only that, it also helps you keep an overview and motivation to continue progressing.
Therefore, review often how you are behaving. Are you spending the appropriate time on the right tasks? How have you progressed with your tasks, projects, or goals? Have you already reached a goal? You may be putting finishing touches on a project over and over again to make it perfect instead of considering it closed.
I suggest that you take a few minutes at the end of each day to review what you have accomplished and plan what to undertake the next day.
9. Celebrate your achievements
Like the previous point, celebrating your successes and achievements not only helps you overcome perfectionism but also to keep you motivated. So learn to value your efforts. An achievement is not just turning in a perfect assignment. An achievement is delivering it on time and with reasonable quality. But also any progress you make in your goals, projects, learning as well as personal and professional development.
Have you taken time to set priorities and plan your time? Then feel satisfied! At the end of the day, has this helped you to advance with a project or finish a task that you wanted to tackle? Congratulate yourself on it and be proud! Have you learned something new? Then pat yourself on the back and be satisfied!
Feel grateful, satisfied, and proud of any good habit you have done, any step taken toward a goal, and any task crossed off your list.
10. Learn to deal with criticism
It is not easy to take criticism. Especially, if it seems to us that someone is criticising our person. However, good constructive criticism can help you improve your performance and grow as a person.
Before getting defensive, consider the purpose of the criticism you have received. If it is well intentioned, consider how you can implement the suggestion for improvement. Remember that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. But they are a learning opportunity.
Also keep your doorstep clean when you feel tempted to criticise someone. Constructive criticism does not attack the person. Point out a certain behaviour, mistake, or improvable task and offer suggestions on how to correct them.
11. Develop your self-esteem and self-confidence
A lack of self-esteem and self-confidence often underlie the urge to try to be perfect. But remind yourself that you are a valid person and worthy of all the good that happens to you and the affection of others.
The good news is that you can improve your self-esteem and self-confidence. Changing the way you value yourself, getting out of your comfort zone, continued learning, and stopping to compare yourself to others are some examples.
12. Treat yourself with compassion
Last but perhaps most important, self-compassion is key to overcoming perfectionism. You are probably very tough and demanding of yourself.
However, when it comes to overcoming perfectionism, please do not push yourself too hard. Do not apply your usual unattainable standards to yourself. Rather remind yourself that you are only human, with your strengths and weaknesses. And there is nothing wrong with it.
So take it easy. Set goals and tasks to overcome your perfectionism. But if you cannot quite meet them and catch yourself relapsing into perfectionism, do not be hard on yourself.
Better take a moment to pay attention to your emotions without judgment. Doing, for example, a body scan can be a good idea to connect with your body. What do you feel? What prompted you to be perfectionist at that moment? Name the emotion or feeling and let yourself feel it. Then let it go by writing in your journal, crying, exercising, singing, dancing, or whatever works for you.
Do you tend to perfectionism?
Have you realised that you are a perfectionist and want to get over it? In which situations are you most prone to perfectionism? Which of the steps to overcome perfectionism will you find most difficult? Which ones do you think will help you the most?
One Response
People who can overcome perfectionism can do their work easily. Not everyone can do it.